What does damn hell mean

5 things to do when an emotionally unavailable man keeps coming back

Getting over an emotionally unavailable man is difficult.

Especially when this emotionally unavailable man keeps coming back.

Let's be realistic here. When you start a new relationship, you don't expect it to end.

You always hope that he is the one for you, that he will show you that it is worth fighting.

And then he shows you he's just another bum that you've fallen hopelessly in love with.

How do you go on You know he's not the one, you know he screwed you over and over, but hope is what breaks you apart every time you think about him.

You still remember how amazing he was when you first met, you can still feel his lips on yours and you still hope he will come back.

But the thing is, emotionally unavailable men have to make that decision for themselves.

Nobody can force them to change and grow up.

Nobody can make her change except herself. And that's the damn part.

So what now? How do you really get out of a relationship where you feel like the only one who has loved, where you feel like you're screaming against a wall and nothing happens?

Hell, you even think the wall had more emotions than your ex.

How do you get out of a relationship where you've done your best and received nothing but pain and frustration in return?

Let's break it down into a few parts. First, we need to know what the hell he's going to do.

Will he play the victim, make you jealous, rub it all in your face, or will he deliver you the whole damn package?

Then it is important to know how to react and what to do. Spoiler alert: This is the no-contact rule.

Here are 5 things emotionally unavailable men do after a breakup:

1. Play the victim

He will go around and tell the story that you are the bad guy and he did nothing but love you the way he does best.

He'll tell this story to anyone with ears and tits.

Poor boy he didn't do anything wrong and you finished it out of the blue.

He just does this so he can keep his reputation.

In this case, he has no intention of winning you back, instead he is trying to get you freaking out and confirming his story.

The best you can do here is to ignore everything.

You and your friends know the truth and that's all that matters. You know you did your best and nothing happened.

You know you tried, but he refused to do the same.

So, don't give him the pleasure of winning all over again. Ignore his fairy tales and let these poor girls find out the truth the hard way.

They won't believe you anyway, even if you tell them he's so good at his games.

2. Provoke yourself with jealousy

He'll rub his new girlfriend under your nose until it drives you crazy, and if you text him and ask for it, he'll calmly let you know that your relationship is over.

You two had nothing more to discuss, you carried on and so did he.

He made you wonder what the hell is the truth and what isn't.

Let me tell you that happy adult people don't shit their exs.

They don't play games or brag about their new trophies. And you know he does just that.

Take a break and let him play all the games he wants. You're better off without him anyway.

Accept your single life and this new opportunity life has given you.

3. Rebounding

Going to the next set of organs that are supposed to push his little ego is nothing more than a need for him.

You see, if he doesn't find someone soon enough to boost his confidence, he'll have to face the hell he let you go through and think about his actions for a second.

And that's something he's not familiar with. So rebounding.

If you add the jealousy games then you have a winner!

An emotionally immature man who could outshine Barney Stinson.

Consider yourself happy here, you kind of dodged a bullet.

It doesn't mean it hurts less, but it does mean that life gave you lemons for a whiskey sour.

Disclaimer: Alcohol is not the answer, but it sure helps solve some of life's mysteries. Or create new ones. It's fun either way.

4. Friends with benefits

You know what he wants when he asks you to stay friends.

He wants all the benefits of the relationship minus the obligation. Honey you deserve more than that

You deserve more than being someone's backup plan and safety net. And you deserve more than to be its nocturnal prey.

This is entirely up to you. If you can be friends with him without all that extra shit, go for it.

Not all are the same and not everyone takes the same steps to heal.

Maybe you need to be close to him to remind yourself every day that you are better off without him.

Or you need him to disappear from the face of the earth.

But whatever you do, remember to put yourself and your needs first. You deserve to be happy too.

5. Show off

He goes underground for a while and all of a sudden he's traveling the world, starting a successful business, and he's Instagraming like crazy about all of this.

I mean, if he hasn't been on social media that much before, think a little about the reason behind this newfound social media love.

I think you already know the answer.

The reason for all of this is to show you that he's so much better than you.

Maybe what he did to you and how he hurt you affected his ego and shook his world a little, but fear not — he's back on his feet.

He has to be the best, he has to have the best women around him, the best car and rub everything under your nose.

It's his way of telling you that he moved on and there is no chance that you will ever get back together.

The solution for that?

The no-contact rule. Block him on all social media, delete his photos from your phone, and do your best to ignore him.

But don't forget to remind yourself every single day that you are great and worthy and the wildest person out there.

You swam through oceans of your sadness and you have conquered hell. It's nothing compared to that.

Remember that an emotionally unavailable man will never crawl to you again.

He is a master of manipulation and he will make you come to him with all these jealous games, showing off, rebounding, staying friends.

The whole idea is that you only see the best of him, which should make you miss him like crazy.

And the worst part? It actually works. When we're in love, we don't think clearly.

And he knows.

So, here are 5 things you can do if your emotionally unavailable man keeps coming back:

1. Stay out of reach

Tell him you're done and show him. Every time he calls you show him that you are not there for him.

Every time he tries to make you jealous, show him that you don't care.

Imagine he's gone and when there is a need to acknowledge his existence, give him an Oscar-winning smile.

Make sure you are out of reach of him, his games, and poisonous love.

2. Remind yourself that it was never up to you

It was never your fault. His inability to bond and be faithful has nothing to do with you.

You did your best, you worked your ass off to make this relationship work.

And sometimes it just doesn't.

Because it takes two for love and you are the only one working on it.

And every time he comes back to you, asks you for a second chance, or drives you crazy with his mind games, remind yourself that you are better than that.

Remind yourself that his immature ass doesn't deserve your time.

3. Ignore the positives and believe the negatives

I was where you are now.

I kept thinking about the good times we had together and all the times he made me feel like I was the greatest woman out there.

As if I were the only one for him and the world was at our feet. But the thing is, it was never true.

I was never the only one for him and there was never a future for us.

And it wasn't until I realized the true nature of our relationship that I could move on.

When you are sure you no longer want him in your life, focus on the negatives.

Focus on all of the times you stared at a blank screen and waited for his message.

Focus on all the times he led you astray, the times he promised you the world and gave you nothing.

See him for who he is, not who he pretended to be.

4. Don't jump when he calls and stick to the no-contact rule

When you're dealing with an emotionally unavailable man, the thing is that you control your role.

At first you don't know who he is and you give him everything because that's how you love.

But later, once you see him for what he is, it's incredibly important for you to change that role.

Let go of him and don't run to him the moment he calls you. I get it, you still love him and you want to help him, but you have to help yourself first!

And this is exactly why adhering to the no-contact rule is important for you to keep going.

This is the only way you can show him loudly and clearly that you have let go and are no longer ready for his games and manipulations.

It's time for him to look around for another victim because you aren't one.

5. Become the woman you have always admired

This amazing wild woman who won't let anyone take her worth away from you.

The woman who asserts herself, no matter what life throws at her.

The woman who holds all the cards in her hands and knows how to play them.

Guess what? You are already that woman. Just because you fell doesn't mean you are no longer her.

Just because you believed and hoped doesn't mean you aren't badass and wild.

And just because you loved the wrong man doesn't mean you're any less of an angry woman.

You may lose the ground under your feet for a second, but you know where you are.

Never let yourself be convinced of anything else!