Who's on the first computer joke

New jokes 2020/2021

Best first: “Doctor, I always feel ignored. The others treat me as if I were invisible. "
Doctor: "Who is speaking?"
Our fun categories:

The best new jokes

New short jokes:
They are laughable!

My friend is an archaeologist. I showed him a used tampon. He didn't want to tell me what period it was from.
Caller: My chocolate bar is stuck in the machine.
Emergency service: We are an emergency service and are not responsible for this.
Caller: Hello, are you even listening to me?
In the train:

Could you please tell your son to stop imitating me.
Fritzchen, please stop acting so stupid.
I threw away a boomerang years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
That moment when you pick up the car from the workshop and the brakes are still not working properly, but the horn is louder.
What goes in and out in a different color?
Answer: food
On the village market square:

A customer asks the seller: “Please excuse me. Are these tomatoes genetically modified? "
The seller replies: "Why do you want to know?"
The tomato answers: "Yes, why do you want to know?"
A man comes home from a doctor's visit:

"Tell me, what did the doctor say?"
"30 euros please"

"Yeah ok, but what did you have?"
"20 Euros"

"No, what was wrong with you?"
"10 Euro"
New category: Long jokes (but super good)
People in Hawaii are complaining about the non-functioning tsunami early warning system. It just doesn't warn of tsunamis in time.

These silly ones; they themselves are the early warning system.
New joke page from the blog: Tell me a joke
New joke page: New black jokes
A man goes to the doctor:

Patient: “Doctor, I really don't know what else to do. I cough all the time. My throat is scratchy too and I can't breathe very well.
Doctor: Do you smoke?
Patient: Yes, like crazy, but it doesn't help.
The postman who delivers with us is called Carsten. He never says hello back. Maybe I should greet him differently and not always with "Hallo Briefcarsten".
An angry man yells at his neighbor: "Is that your cat who digs up all the carrots in my garden?"

The neighbor yells back: "Of course, do you think I have time for it?"
One friend to another: “Last night I took a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.

Well what can you say; slept like a baby. "
One egg sees another egg and asks: “Why are you so persistent?” He replies: “Shut your cheeks! I am a kiwi !! "
New page in the joke blog: 30 jokes that are really fun
Kurt has no arms and no legs.
Knock Knock
"Who's there?"
Definitely not Kurt.
The waiter came to Pizza Hut yesterday and said, "I see your glass is empty. Would you like another one."
I mean is that guy a little off? Why should I want an empty glass?
Wow! My pen can write underwater.

Whoa !!! Wow!!

He can also write other words. Great!
At the doctor:
Did you take my advice and sleep with the window open?
Yes I have.
And has the cough gone?
The only thing that has disappeared is my laptop and smartphone.
New! Jokes from our blog: 25 jokes to think about. Jokes that not everyone understands.

A fat woman goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, please help me. I am so fat."
Doctor: I understand, but first please pay me for my destroyed practice.
Modern times:

No, please don't jump!
(Takes out the camera)
Now you can jump.
At school:

Teacher: Name a groundbreaking event.
Fritzchen: Lately a very drunk passenger puked on the train.
A man ambushes a bus carrying Japanese tourists. The police received over 3,200 photos of the robber.
A woman is like an open book. About microbiology. With over 2000 pages. In braille.
I may not be the best with words, but at least I can ... what is it called again ... the dinghy, whatnot ... ok what the heck.
Two sharks see a windsurfer: “Look, our breakfast comes swam up and then served so nicely, with a breakfast board and a folded napkin.
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He said to make me feel at home. Then I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
I was very moved when my husband looked at our marriage certificate for minutes. Then he turned around and asked, "Where is the expiration date?"
A man reads a magazine and says to his wife: "You honey, it says here that women speak almost twice as much as men in one year".

Says the woman: "Well, that's because we always have to tell you everything twice"
If you go out into nature, it is better to have a compass with you. It helps to get lost more north.
New: jokes to tell grandma and grandpa.
One guy comes to the hairdresser with very greasy hair. Asks the hairdresser: "What do you want: a haircut or an oil change?"

Are you dissatisfied Are you lonely? Don't worry, there is always a light on for you in the fridge.
Two panties meet. Asks one: "Why are you so tanned?", Says the other: "I had a shitty week."
One elderly lady to the other: "My first time was when I was 18."
The other said: "My first time was with just one."
Why did the bank robber bathe right before he robbed the bank?
He wanted to do the thing cleanly.
And Ms. Schmidt, are you satisfied with your new hearing aid?
Oh yes, I've had to change my wills twice already.
At the dentist:

So my little one, please open your mouth wide open, so the uncle doctor can take out the hand you are biting on.
I played frisbee with my dog. Somehow I imagined it to be different. I guess I'll have to get a flatter dog.
Part 2
of the latest jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | part 3

for more joke categories
Add Aberwitzig.com to your favorites with the keyboard shortcut: CTRL + D or on the Mac: Command key (cmd) + D