How to unconsciously make sokolov synonymous

Sensual flights of thought

In a relatively new forum, the topic of how to deal with the power imbalance within a relationship and whether this can be lived at all in the long term was addressed. A really interesting question, especially since big misunderstandings can arise again and again, especially with beginners and people who are just starting to grapple with this matter, if they orientate themselves on the clichés of a partly ignorant general public, favored by all the words that are meanwhile circulate in the vastness of the Internet.

But now I'll try to answer this question or the admittedly inevitably subjective answer to it, even if you could fill books with it.

I have been living in a relationship for 5 years now, which one can rightly call a D / s relationship, which also has the character of SM. We live together, have a common household, are both employed - quite normal, if it weren't for our darkly colored longings that (want) to be lived out. Anyone who thinks that I, as the one who will allow the seizure of power over myself, would now all day long, slipping on my knees, whimpering submissively and in chains that also make wonderful clattering music, serve the Lord, who of course just this dear long Day making yourself comfortable in the TV armchair and putting your feet up, you’re really wrong.

For us, living in and with a power imbalance means, on the one hand, that the nature of the partner can be accessed at any time, but one can be sure that this accessibility is handled responsibly. I know that even a word, a look, a gesture can create this power imbalance at any time. One must not forget that everyday life and work also need to be lived in such a relationship, and that occasionally problems have to be solved and crises managed. And the woman in me would wither away if we weren't able to treat each other on an equal footing and have good conversations in which "Yes, sir." And "Thank you, sir." And "Always at your service." just have no place. On the contrary, often enough the self-reflective conversation is necessary, always the honest word that maybe the slave in me won't come out of my lips because she doesn't dare to do it or because of her emotional confinement and confinement she can't do it. The woman, the human being, however, can very well and would like to be taken seriously as well. We are quite capable of laughing together, discussing or philosophizing through the nights over a glass of red wine or two, and moving around inconspicuously among people who believe that our dispositions and the way we live together are perverse.

On the other hand, this life with and in a power imbalance also means that the perception is very strongly oriented towards the other, one often unconsciously catches the smallest signals that he as the dominant part and I send out as a devotee. It can be tone colors, the choice of words, the body language - the range is very large. But all of this is what has made us sensitive to one another in our relationship and makes us authentic. It was and still is these signals that brought us together and still represent a strong link between us today.

For us, this kind of togetherness is so profound that we refuse to comply with various clichés given by the internet. We live together and don't play our lives. Just as my partner needs power over me for his fulfillment, I can only find mine by granting him it. And is there anything better than this mutual fulfillment in a relationship?

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